


Ashes on Her Skin

by MonkeyBanana (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-18 03:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3555116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MonkeyBanana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" "I can see the city from here. We're almost arrived!"</p><p>Historia froze at these words. Indeed, she could see the roofs of some buildings from where she was. But was she ready? Was she actually ready to start a new life here, away from everything she knew? She thought about her old life... Old room... Old everything.</p><p>What she didn't know was that, behind her back, a girl with hazel eyes was smirking."</p><p>In other words, the build of two aching and lost souls that'll find their way together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nouveau départ

She was looking outside the window, the pines were forming a huge dark mass as the car sped up. Her head was resting on the window frame, and she was holding tightly a little stuffed dog in her hands.

 

"Sweetheart, don't you think you're a bit too old for stuffed puppies? I remember this time when you and I..."

 

She let her mother talk, not listening anymore, lost in her thoughts. She may have been too old, but it was Eren's present...

She closed her eyes, softly. It was a present from Eren, and she left him. As she left everything else behind her. She remembered the first time her Mum told her she was going to France for her work. It was a great opportunity, according to her, to start a new life. And she chose to follow her, on a stupid impulse. Despite the feelings of concern and doubt that were getting heavier as the car was approaching its final destination, she felt a certain excitement. She has left everything, her friends, boyfriend, Dad, house. But she somehow had no regrets. She had never loved California, anyway.

 

"Historia! Look!" her Mum was pointing something out of the window. "I can see the city from here. We're almost arrived!"

 

Historia froze at these words. Indeed, she could see the roofs of some buildings from where she was. But was she ready? Was she actually ready to start a new life here, away from everything she knew? She thought about her old life... Old room... Old everything. It had been one day... Only one day since she said goodbye to it. It was too late to change her mind now. Her mum was already parking the car in a wide driveway. She opened the door and got of the car, facing a huge typical french mansion.

 

"So, what do you think of this lovely _maison de maître_?" her Mum said smiling, in a perfect french.

 

"It's... Original. Different. But absolutely beautiful." She smiled back, and entered the house.

 

"Amazing! The house staff has already started to set the furniture. Your room should be ready, Historia... Oh but wait Arnaud! Don't set the sofa here! No!"

 

Historia sighed as she heard her Mum already starting to bustle and run everywhere, shouting on their butler.  
She followed her maid upstairs, admiring each detail of her new home.

"Thank you Clara", she said as the maid led her to her new room. She pushed gently the door and entered it, curious. All her pieces of furniture were already there, set harmoniously.  
The sunset light that was filttering through the window gave a fairytale atmosphere to the scene.

 

* * *

 

She put her bag on the floor, and walked, exhausted, toward her king size bed, probably too big to host only one person. She missed Eren... She laid there for minutes and closed her eyes. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she couldn't hold back her sobs. Trying desesperatly to calm down, she got up and walked to her mirror. Her blonde hair was falling disorderly on her shoulders, and her eyes looked swollen. She grabbed an hairtie and put her hair in a bun, trying to look a little bit better.

When she went downstairs, her Mum was still busy, this time with a phone call. She sighed and opened the front door, ready to face the outside world.

 

The blonde girl crossed the big driveway and opened the gate. As she was closing it, she noticed a cigarette scent... Someone was smoking here. Oh, true, it was France. She smiled and turned around.  
In front of her, on the other side of the road, two people were sitting on a house porch steps, sharing a cigarette and looking daggers at her.

 

"Alors, qu'est ce que t'as à nous regarder comme ça la duchesse? Tu veux une clope?" said the woman, roughly.

 

"I... I'm sorry I can't speak French..." Historia talked in a low voice, and looked away. She was of the shy kind, in spite of her attempts to look more outgoing.

 

The woman coughed in a solemn way.

 

"I asked if you wanted a cigarette."

 

Historia look up at her, surprised. The woman was tall, shapely. Her light hazel eyes, almost yellow, were contrasting with her brown skin. She was wearing a leather jacket, with black jeans and Doc Martens. A tall, muscular blonde man typing on his phone was sitting next to her.

Historia thought of refusing the proposal, as she would have normally done, but something inside of her made her change her mind. After all... This was a new life. She was free, and in a new city.

 Without a word, she crossed the road and walked toward the couple. The woman started to laugh.

 

"With such an angel face I'd never have thought you'd accept."

 

Historia blushed a bit, and noticed the freckles on the girl's face as she talked.

 

"Well, you can't judge a book by its cover, right?"

 

She took the cigarette that the girl was handing her, approached the lighter, and inhaled as the cigarette started to burn. She gave the lighter back to the girl and watched her putting it in the pocket of her leather jacket.

 

"Thank you" she said. "I'm Historia."

 

The girl looked back at her. "I'm Ymir, and this is Reiner." The guy lifted his glance up and smiled a bit. "Nice to meet ya."

 

She sat down with them, enjoying the light and warmth of the September evening.

 

Ymir broke the silence.

 

"Uh, so you live in that big house over there... I've always thought the owners were some affluent pricks. Are you a duchess or something? Perhaps a princess?"

 

Historia frowned.

 

"That's none of your business."

 

She was starting to regret having join the couple. Next time she'll ignore... She didn't like this girl... Once again she had been judged. She stood up, still holding her cigarette. "I have to go, now. Thanks again for the cigarette." She turned her back and started to walk away, not knowing where she was going. What she also didn't know was that, behind her back, a girl with a certain pair of hazel eyes was smirking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated. :D


	2. Un Simple Trait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected meeting and Historia's first day in college.

_Les prévisions météorologiques de la semaine et toute l'actualité tout de suite après la pub!_

The radio clock starting ringing and French voices escaped from it, an incomprehensible language for the petite blonde. It was early, 5:30 AM, the first rays of the sun, but the girl had always loved early mornings. As soon as the sound pierced the tiny ears, sending the message to the brain, Historia's chest rose and she got up in a few seconds, controlling her moves like a robot. Her morning routine has started. Without much cheerfulness, she put on a tank top and a tracksuit bottom, raced downstairs without a noise and opened the frontdoor. She closed her eyes as she let the fresh morning breeze tickle softly her face, took a deep breath and start running... One foot in front of the other, again, and again. The first minutes were harsh, the small girl had trouble to find her rhythm. The only thought crossing her mind was the pain, and the unbearable warmth in her lungs that didn't want to escape. After the first minutes, and the first soreness, her body started to accommodate as her mind started to wander. The feeling of freedom, at each new step, was filling smoothly her body. The great advantage of the town she recently moved in was to be close from a beautiful wood, in which she was now rushing, playing with the wind, trying to follow its increasing speed. September had left its imprint on the leaves of the trees that were now spotted with warm colors. She went down a hillock, that was facing a meadow. Further, cowbells were ringing, and Historia stopped and sat down to admire and enjoy the landscape offered to her. Thoughts, mostly of her past, were crossing her mind and nostalgia was getting weightier and weightier. Deep in her thoughts, the girl hadn't even noticed the light rustle of footsteps behind her, breaking the idyllic scene. It was only when the intruder spoke that Historia noticed her. A low, soft voice.

 

"I can see you're a morning princess."

 

Without turning around, she knew who was speaking. This girl, again. The petite didn't speak a word, holding her breath, and realizing that Ymir actually terrified her, even if they had only met once before. The brunette apparently wasn't waiting for an answer; she just sat next to her, and remained silent for a moment.

 

"I love this place. The peace and the calm only the cows can disturb. I come here to draw as much as I can."

 

Historia narrowed her eyes, and turned her head, facing the other girl for the first time since she showed up. Indeed, she was holding a black sketchbook and a pencil, looking ready to draw.

 

"Do you mind if I draw you?"

 

The words were spoken gently, contrasting with the usual rude tone of the girl, as if she was somehow fearing Historia's answer.

 

"- I don't." Historia turned and smiled to the girl. "Shall I pose in a specific way?

\- Nah, you'll get tired if you try to pose. Just stay as natural as possible."

 

The blonde obeyed, and relaxed a bit. She couldn't see what Ymir was scribbling from where she was, so she chose to focus on the brunette's face. On each expression she made, the way her long eyelashes covered her hazel eyes when she was narrowing them, her high cheekbones covered with freckles...

 

"Hey Princess. You can relax, I'm finished."

 

Oh, already? She had completely lost the sense of time while Ymir was drawing her. She shook her head, trying to go back down to Earth.

 

"- Can I see it? she asked shyly.

\- Nope. Not yet, I still need to adjust a few things."

 

Probably noticing the light disappointment the blonde was trying to hide on her face, Ymir sighed and turned her notebook to Historia. The drawing was beautiful... She'd expected Ymir to be pretty skilled, but not that much. She had managed to transcribe each feature of Historia's face on a sheet of paper, surrounded with leaves.

 

"- Why did you draw me with closed eyes?

\- 'Don't know. You looked like a forest princess, pretty and peaceful in this natural environment. Plus, your eyes are too blue, it won't match with the leaves color. But as I said, it's not finished.

\- Too blue?"

 

Ymir shrugged and stood up.

 

"I'm going to go back home. Have stuff to do."

 

She offered her hand to the smaller girl, who took it.

 

"- Thank you. Huh, Ymir, I’m wondering, what do you do for a living?

\- "That's none of your business" ", she answered with mischief in her eyes, in a faucet voice, imitating Historia's higher voice and turned on her heels, whistling.

 

What? Historia couldn't believe the way the brunette had just made fun of her. At first, she remained silent, dumbfounded, but then a light grin appeared on her face, and she chuckled softly. At least, Ymir had humor.

After she recovered her composure, she ran back home, a light sensation in her chest and a stupid smile on her face. She realized how social interactions made her feel much better, by filling in the emptiness that had settled in her heart since she moved on.

When she got home, Historia went to her bathroom, and ran the shower water. In front of her mirror, she undressed, looking at her naked body. Her gaze went from the top of her head, slowly going down her small and fragile body. Blonde hair... Blue eyes... Pale skin... Small breasts... She sighed. Everything was so small in her body, due to her early -much too early- puberty. She imagined Ymir next to her, with her 10 inches more than her, and smiled.

* * *

 

The steam escaped as the blonde girl opened the bathroom door, wrapped in a towel. She grabbed a clean skirt, band tee shirt, her black Converse and went downstairs. As she started to eat her breakfast, her Mum showed up, still half sleeping.

 

"Oh sweetheart! Ready for your first day?" she said smiling.

 

Historia groaned. "Gah... Not really."

 

"Oh come on! I'm sure it'll be amazing."

 

"According to you, everything is amazing."

  
She smiled and her Mum laughed. The blonde kissed her mother on her forehead, grabbed her bag and opened the door.

"Goodbye Mum, have a nice day!", she shouted, closing the door before she could hear an answer.

* * *

 

She looked at her timetable... French class… Then, literature and law. The blonde walked across the huge university, and arrived to her classroom, passing by typical students, lost in their lessons and lectures, waiting impatiently for the week end to party crazy. They didn't seem to notice her, until she heard loud chuckles behind her. She turned around, and saw a girl, with glasses and ponytail, running in the hallway with a short ginger girl. Both laughing, they were running towards Historia.

 

"Oi!" The tallest girl spoke. "Here's the classroom Petra! First time we're not late! We need to celebrate that."

 

Foreign students, both Australian, Historia noticed. They were going attend the "French class for beginners" with her, apparently.

 

"Hey! We have a new comer! We've never met before, right?"

 

When Historia realized they were talking of her, she lifted her gaze and smiled, shyly.

 

"- You're right. My name's Historia, I arrived last week in France. It's my first day here, and, well... I'm quite lost to be honest.

\- Well I'm Hanji. And the ginger dwarf is Petra."

 

The said dwarf laughed and poked affectionately Hanji's shoulder.

 

"Oh, and if you feel lost, we can fix that! That's quite a big college, and quite a big city, I admit. Are you available after the French class?"

 

Her eyes instantly went down, at her timetable. She hesitated a second, before informing the couple of girls she had a 2 hour break. The language course then went really fast. Although the other students seem to talk much better than her, she had managed to introduce herself pretty well.

* * *

 

"... So here's the music and art part! Those people are crazy, but really friendly."

 

Hanji was speaking loud as she showed Historia each part of the huge college.

 

"Well I think I showed you everything... Now I'm thinking... Do you want to go out tonight with us and a bunch of friends? You'll know the best places of the city", she added, winking.

 

Reminding herself how social interactions were the best things on Earth to her, and mentally struggling with her own shyness, Historia finally accepted.

“Perfect! We’ll see each other at the end of the classes”, and Hanji-hurricane went back to her own business, leaving a petite blonde alone in a huge hallway, half smiling, half panicked at the idea of meeting new people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, once again, feedback is welcome, as well as kudos... No, really, don't hesistate !


	3. Vacarme et Paradis Artificiel

10 minutes. Hanji was 10 minutes late. Historia sighed, leaned against her car, as she was waiting for the eccentric girl to show up. After a few minutes more, the girl was starting to despair, when she heard a scream, just behind her car, that made her jump of surprise.

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! My glasses!"

She walked to know what was going on, and saw Hanji, down on all fours, desperately trying to find her glasses beneath Historia's car.

"Aha! Got 'em!"

She waved her glasses like a trophy, before putting them back in their usual place, on the brunette's nose. She stood up, panting, and noticed the other girl's presence.

"Ah! I've been looking for you! But I got delayed, well, with Petra... And then... Then I dropped my glasses under the car and... Anyways. Are you ready?"

The blonde nodded, with a wide smile. Fear and excitement were rising in her chest, causing the sensation of butterflies in her stomach. It was the first time she was going out at night, in a country she didn't know, with people she didn't know. It reminded her the first time she had asked her Mum to go out on a Saturday evening with her best friend, when she was 15. Good old time...

"Alright, so, we'll meet at the Vox! It's the coolest bar in town, and there's a concert tonight. Judging by your tee, I assume you like music?"

Historia looked down to her Warpaint tee shirt and smiled.

"Yeah. Best girls band ever."

She smiled and got in her car, inviting the brunette to join her.

 

* * *

 

They arrived in a small pedestrian street next to a river, the streets were full of people. Musicians and artists were bringing life to the September evening making the atmosphere light, and the young girl felt free, for the first time in the middle of a city. Hanji was talking, but she wasn't listening to her, bewitched by the architecture and the charm of the place.

"Oi! Hey guys!"

The brunette's scream woke her up from her daydreaming. They were approaching a large group of people, sitting in a terrace.

"Hanji... You're late again."

A short man talked, looking exasperated by the lateness of the girl.

"I don't care, and I'm bringing a new comer, just arrived from the USA."

A mess of greetings and smiles welcomed the small girl, who hastened to answer and introduce herself.

"... So here are Levi, Erd, Günther, Petra, that you already know, Sasha and Connie."

Historia put on her greatest smile, and went to sit with Hanji and her group of friends. She discovered a huge variety of people and personalities. They were all foreign students here to learn french, except for Levi, the grumpy guy, who was the only one already French, even though he spoke a perfect English. She talked a lot with Sasha, who had eaten the whole bowl of peanuts in 30 seconds, Günther and Erd, both of them were sharing knowing looks with each other, and Petra, the kindest and sweetest girl Historia ever met. When the darkness fell, they all went inside, where a stage was set, ready to host musicians.

They sat at a big table, waiting for the band to show up, chatting and drinking. Historia was so comfortable with them she hadn't noticed that the butterflies in her stomach vanished, and that she was talking normally, without much apprehension with the group of friends. After a few minutes, the band finally showed up and started to play their songs, psychedelic melodies were filling the room and the bass line made the ground shake softly. A beer was set in front of Historia, and the girl was looking at it strangely. Legal age to drink in her country was 21, and she was barely 18, it was one of the first times she'll be drinking. Looking at the people around her, she finally took the cold drink in her small hands and started sipping it. She then got used to the sweet and bitter taste, and drank it faster, at the same rhythm as the other young people. When she swallowed the last gulp, she had completely lost the sense of the conversation, a slight dizziness was starting to fill her mind, but it was bearable, and made the small girl talk more easily with the other people.

Letting Hanji explained to her friends how she had been stuck in a school bathroom during a whole night, she stood up and walked outside, in need to breathe fresh air. The street was calm, and the concert music was low from outside. Not really knowing what she was doing, Historia crossed the road and entered another bar, slightly different from the Vox one. Deafening rock music was playing, and the atmosphere was more oppressive. She walked toward the counter and ordered another beer. She turned around, to face the other side of the room, and noticed Reiner, that she met the first day she arrived, with a group of punks. He smiled mischievously to her, probably wondering what a small girl with an innocent and childish look was doing there.

A sudden shiver went down her spine when a whisper tickled her ear.

" _Bonsoir_."

She jumped of surprise, and widened her eyes. A man was talking. A tall man, much older than her _was talking to her_. She didn't answer, panicked by the sudden hot breath that was now brushing her neck, holding her drink tightly. The man sat next to her, apparently waiting for an answer.

" _Quel est ton nom, ma jolie?_ "

[What's your name, sweetie?]

" _Je... m'appeler Historia_ ", she said in a broken French, and added " _Je ne parle pas Français, désolé._ "

[I can't speak French, sorry.]

"It's alright, I can speak English. My name is Nile... Nice to meet you. Do you want something to drink?"

"Oh, no. Thank you."

The two beers were starting to make the girl's head spin, and she was feeling like if it was not her, but someone else sitting there in the bar. Someone she could not control. Someone she feared, because she did not know what she was capable of. And she didn't like it. The tiny part of her conscience that was still lucid wanted her to shout and run away, but all she could do was remaining sat down, staring at her hands to avoid the man's gaze.

"Come on... Just accept… I really want to pay a drink to such a beautiful girl..."

"She said no. What the hell don't you understand in this word?"

Ymir walked, placed herself right between Historia and Nile, and leaned against the counter, facing the man. She kept going.

"So what? Don't you want to pay a drink to my girlfriend anymore?"

The man sighed, and stood up.

"Fine, I get it..."

Girlfriend? _Wait, what?_

"Always make retards think you're a lesbian. It works each time."

Oh, good answer. The brunette was now turning around to face her, a worried look on her face, or what seemed to be one.

"Have you been drinking?"

“Yes.”

“How much?”

“Two beers?"

Ymir chuckled softly.

"Two beers and you're in such a pitiful state? You look barely able to stand on your legs..."

"I don't know... I want to go home, in fact."

The blonde stood up, staggering a little at first, but then she felt Ymir's arm under hers, and relied on it.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"You're not. Where are you going?"

"Home."

"How?"

"I have to drive Hanji and I home."

"Hanji? You came with that nerd? Where is she?"

The blonde girl pointed at the other side of the road.

"Fine... I'll ask her to drive you home or I'll do it myself if she's not sober enough."

"Why do you care?"

The taller girl shrugged, and started to walk towards the other bar, grabbing Historia's arm. They both entered the Vox, Ymir was looking for Hanji. When her eyes fixed upon the girl with glasses, she instantly rushed towards her.

“Oh! Ymir! Are you joining us? Oh... wait! You know Historia? Oh… Amazing!”

“How much have you been drinking?”

“Eeeh… Tough question. ‘Dunno. Guys, how much have I been drinkin’?”

Ymir sighed, and grabbed Hanji’s wrist before she could hear an answer.

“Alright. I drive you home too, you’re obviously drunk… I can’t believe I’m babysitting the two of you.”

“But Ymiiiir…”, the brunette started to argue, apparently not satisfied with the taller girl decision. “I want to stay!”

“Then you’ll walk home, Hanji. I’m driving the princess back to her castle.”

“Don’t call me like that.”

Ymir’s gaze went down to the small blonde girl that had just talked, softly.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t like it.”

“I didn’t ask you if you liked it or not. Anyway, Hanji, you make your choice now. Walking or leaving now.”

“Ghmph… I’ll walk.”

“Fine.”

The brunette smiled with mischief in her eyes, as if she was glad the drunk girl had to walk home alone.

 

* * *

 

“Ymir? I think we should drive her too… I mean bad things could happen to her if we just let…” Historia said, as they were walking in the street.

“Tch. She’s a tough girl, don’t worry about Hanji. She’s got friends that can drive her home everywhere. This girl literally knows everyone… which is not your case, apparently.”

“Is it why you bring me back home?”

“Mostly, yes. Which one is your car?”, Ymir asked when they arrived in the parking area. Historia pointed at her car, and handed the keys to Ymir.

 

* * *

 

“Historia? Hey, Historia?”

Someone was poking the blonde girl’s cheek.

“Ghmpf… What… Let me sleep!”

“Hell no, we’re arrived, you’re gonna sleep in your bed tonight, princess.”

Historia opened her eyes in surprise, realizing she had been sleeping in her car during the ride. And yes, right. Ymir was the one who drove her. And she was in her car.

“Do you think you can make it to your room now?” the brunette asked when Historia opened her door to get off her car.

“Yeah... I feel much better now. What about you? How are you going to get home?”

“Heh. I’m going to sleep at Reiner’s.”, the brunette answered, pointing at the house on the other side of the street, where the two girls had first met.

“Huh, Ymir… Thank you.”

The taller girl smiled, with this usual mischievous smile of hers, before getting off the car and handing the keys to Historia.

“It’s alright”, she said, turned on her heels and disappeared in the darkness.

She vanished again... She seemed to be a kind of mirage. Why did she act like if she didn’t care while she had driven Historia home? The blonde girl shook her head, still under the alcohol effect, but determinded to know more about the Ymir-mystery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like my baby Historia's in debt... *smirks and rubs hands*  
> Anywaaaaay, I LOVE reviews, feedbacks, kudos, really, I take everything, the best and the worst, you can even tell me about your pets or last trip with LSD, I don't care. 8D


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